I’m a suspicious person. I have a brow raised at everyone. People are often doing nice things for me. Or things that appear nice on the surface. But if you scratch and sniff, you’ll find their true motives just below the surface. For example, someone recently did something–which I won’t share–and everyone who knew about it thought it was wonderful. Hell, even my own mother was almost fooled. That is until I helped her consider the source. Or rather, I explained that the source was a tricky, attention seeking, bastard whose good deed was deception wrapped in sheeps clothing.
When someone does something for me, out of the blue, for what seems like no reason, I get antsy. Nobody does anything without seeking some benefit. Even if it’s to make the giver feel good about him/herself. Or even for the sake of gaining information. The giver is still benefitting. That’s because people are selfish by nature. It’s part of our survival instincts. Take care of us and ours first! Everything else, second!
I remember being in a class, not sure if it was HS or college. Those years blend together in my mind. The class was told to always consider the source. When we pick up a book, the first thing we should do is turn to the back and read about the author. Then, if we can, find out more about him/her. Lastly, read the book. I’ve followed that not just in academia, but throughout my life. Which is why, bringing it full circle, I have a brow raised at everyone. I try to listen carefully. Listen to the words people use. When I’m at work and hear phrases like, “This is an opportunity for you to…” I immediately know someone’s trying to take advantage of me and dump some work on me that is not under my duty umbrella.
Eh, what am I trying to say?? In a meeting recently, there was discussion about what to name the FAQ/Help page for the software I manage. Certain people actually wanted to use my name in the title. Are these people mad?? As diplomatically as possible, I told them that probably wasn’t a good idea because I might not be the one always responding. Now, what do those words sound like to y’all?? If someone told me that (Not that I’d ever use someone’s name like that because it assumes they are always gonna work here.), I’d immediately think they got plans to rise up and move on.
I’m also super suspicious when I meet new people. Yes, this includes random folks IM-ing and e-mailing me talking bout how they read the blog. Especially when those same people have been hob-nobbing with other bloggers. Makes me think, “Don’t try to cozy up to my ass. You won’t gain perspective or any extra information about any other blogger from me. Thanks for playing. Try again…Oh and drink Sprite.”
Maybe, just maybe, and I don’t think you’re ready for this revelation, I’m not a friendly person. While I am one of the nicest people I know, and I know a lot of people, I’m just not all that friendly. I’m not interested in building any new long-stand ing friendships. I meet people, assign them a box and go on from there. That box dictates how I will interact with that person, forevuh! Sure, I’m engaging. Sure, I remember little slices of previous conversations and bring those things up in the next interaction. Sure it seems like I care. Sure, it seems like I trust. But, it’s all smoke a mirors. Now. If I happen upon one, a new friend that is, just know I’m doing a background check and ‘frontround’ check on that person for the first year or so. Then, after that, I’m doing quarterly reviews. Why? Because people are shadey. Their motives have to be examined, and re-examined.
Hey, isn’t it funny how you have a perfectly coherant post in your mind. But then you sit down to write it and the phone starts ringing, the co-workers start talking, and you lose your train of thought and you end up with several disconnected paragraphs. Because you’re lazy, you don’t even bother to re-read or edit the entry. You just hit ‘publish’ and accept that yet another entry isn’t award-winning or awe inspiring.
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