U-Haul, I-Haul

We all know Kajuana’s starting a new job. I’m nervous y’all. This is the first not-at-all-related-to-education job I’ve eveer had. I have to learn a whole new set of laws. I mean I know Special Education laws for the area pretty darn well. And I guess that’s why I’ve been able to get great jobs so easily…Not too many people know the laws. And I’ve never thought twice about making moves.

My good friend was just offered a job in Cincinatti. This is the one who most recently got her Ph.D. in Chemical Engineering. Right now, her husband and her live in Alabama. So they’d be moving for her job. To be honest, it never occured to me that men move for women too. I’ve had a few conversations where I said I’d most certainly move for my husband or fiancee. In the last few days though, this whole moving for a partner thing has been everywhere. Why, just as I’m typing this, there’s an episode of Home Improvement on where Jill is offered a job that would require the family to move. And last week, I heard part of Michael B’s radio show where moving was the topic. Plus, having chatted with my girl as she prepared to make her aggressive pitch to her husband about the benfits of moving to the midwest for this job offer, I started wondering.

At this point in my life, would I really move? The answer is still yes–so long as it was for the good of a relationship with a fiancee or husband. I’ve never had any problems getting jobs (knock on wood). And if we were moving for his job, he’d know that he’s responsible for maintaining my working-girl lifestyle until I get settled.

I wonder if any of the previous Manfriends would move for me–I mean if we were engaged or married. Nerp. Why? Because they’ve all been rather traditional fellas. When I first got offered the new job, they were talks of me needing to spend an entire month away. I told Manfriend then held my breath. I was sure he was going to say something about how this might affect our relationship. Why would I think this?? He’s a rational, supportive man. Not at all like an ex I had who, after I’d gone to a new employee training for one week, demanded that I start looking for a new job because I was away too long. Needless to say, he didn’t last long at all!!! But Manfriend said, “It won’t be that bad. And you can come home one weekends. Plus, imagine how much money you will save.”

What about women who move to follow a man but that man didn’t ask them to move?? I know a chick who did that. She followed a man here to the DC area. He’s long gone and she’s still here. And I always thought the reason he treated her shabbily is because he never asked her to come. Would I move for a manfriend? Tuff one. I know I’ve said I don’t do the shacking up. But, if a man asked me to move for him, I can’t see me doing it on my dime. I can’t see a man getting me to uproot myself and move to live anywhere other than his spot. So then, I guess I wouldn’t move for someone who is only a manfriend. And might even be offended if he stepped to me on some, “Kajuana, you should move here with me…We can go apartment/house hunting for you so you can have a place to stay when you get here…If you start saving now, you can afford the best movers to move your stuff.” I’d be like, “Huh?? You want me to move, find my own place, and foot the bill, all so your ass won’t be lonely?? Die. Just die right here.” *exit stage left*

On the radio show, a lot of women said that in their youth, they’d move. But now? Notsomuch! I wonder if it’s because they have been hurt and are jaded or if they have a better handle on setting limits in their relationships. What do y’all think?? Men, would you ask a woman who your weren’t at least engaged to, to move to a new city to be with you?? Would you expect her to live with you?? Would you pay for the move?? How about a portion?? Women, would you move?? What if it’s just a serious boyfriend??