K-U-N-Spear-Uh-See!!!

I don’t know if everyone is aware, but drug testing is becoming increasingly popular at companies. This includes both pre and post employement tests. I could definately see it in some areas but not in a regular old desk job. And maybe I’m way too ACLU with mine but I think it’s an invasion of privacy. If I don’t work for the airlines, drive a vehicle, use a gun, operate heavy machinery, or work with kids, I should be able to do as I please outside of work. If I’m such a drug addict that it interfers with my work, just fire me. Simple as that. If we continue to sit back and let this whole drug testing thing continue becoming the status quo, what’s next? I’ll tell you!! Next thing you know, employers will be coming to our homes to see if our bathrooms are clean, do our kids have marks of abuse, has our dog been kicked in the last year, etc.

I think of drug testing for employment just like jury duty. Nobody wants to do it. And there are various ways to get around it. So then are the people caught just getting so high that they didn’t bother to attempt to test clean?? Who knows. What amazes me though, they don’t generally test for alcohol consumption. That is, with the exception of airlines and those types of jobs (Can’t have a drink less than 12 hours before you report to work. And they do random testing.)!!

Stay with me. This is where the conspiracy part comes in. Corporations don’t test for alcohol. Alcohol is legal. Now let’s say, for kicks and giggles, I am a huge “white” user–which I totally am not because I dont want the inside of my nose to look like ground beef. I get a job where they test. I want to keep my job. As a result, I try to cut back on the “white”. Might even enroll into one of those fancy treatment centers. But even after I get off the drugs, I still have a burning need to alter my consciousness. In other words, I still want to get high. What do I turn to? Alcohol. Because it’s legal. See, so what corporations are doing is turning otherwise funtioning drug addicts into alcoholics.

Why would corporations want alcoholics instead of plain old drug addicts?? I’m glad you asked. It’s plot by Starbucks (Excuse me. Been reading too much Panama.) the government. Ya see, the government taxes alcohol. So for every alcoholic out there, the government gets some money.

I bet most of you clicked the ‘more’ button thinking I was gonna lay out some well thought out theory on how drug testing adversely affect Black, women, or short men more than white men of regular height. Gotcha!!! You love my foundationless logic don’t cha. Don’t cha bay-bee!! Don’t you wish your logic was flawed like mine? Don’t cha?

I so love listening to conspiracy theorists. They can connect two seemingly unrelated things in a way that often almost makes sense. Conspiracy Theorists, I salute you!