Wednesday Morning Decision

Calvin Richardson sings:

There’s one thing I’m sure about. I can’t live without your love. Believe you me. I tried to before. But only ended up coming back to your door wanting more or your gentleness. The way you take good care of me you’re the best. I had to be unconscious. Trying to front over you. Lately I’ve been out pricing rings so I could put one on you cus it’s long over due. Cross my heart. I swear I will love you forever.

I’m sitting here listening to the CD and when Calvin said he’s out shopping for rings, I was reminded about something that has pissed me off for a while. Let me put that in the past tense. It used to piss me off. My girl calls it the Tuesday Morning Decision (or something like that). Simply put, any man can wake up on any given morning, in this case a Tuesday, and decide he wants to be married. He can look over to whomever is in his bed, or thumb through his phone book, pick a chick, and nine times out of ten, she will say YES.

As women, we could sit around wanting to get married and breed all we want, but unless we’re willing to ask a man, the shyt won’t happen on our whim. And I think we all know I’m anti-asking a man to marry you. I’m also anti-guilting him into it and the like.

I said I used to be pissed at this difference in options. Well not any more. I realized that we women do have power over this. If we want to get married, we can decide to date only men who are in the market for a wife. I tend to believe marriage is a lot easier when both parties are open to it from the start of the relationship. Granted I’ve never been married. But I’ve dated men who were interviewing for wives and men who were sport f*cking. The former of the two did everything with a goal in mind and were a open to being in a relationship. The latter, they are the ones some poor woman, not me, would have to convince. And if they did just happen to find themselves in love with a woman, trust and believe they were fighting it tooth and nail the whole way. Why bother.

It also doesn’t bother me because today, just this morning, I made a huge decision. A decision only a woman can make. Men get to choose to marry on a Tuesday morning, but women get to choose to have kids on a Wednesday drive to work. After very limited thought, I decided I’m not completely opposed to breeding babies. For years I never hid the fact that I’m not into cooing over babies. Although I wasn’t completely apposed to blessing this world with some more of my fine genetic material. For years I assumed one day I would breed. But not because I had some deep desire to push a person out of my guts. Not because I wanted to add a few contributing members to society. The reason I assumed I’d be a mother was because I’d assumed I’d get married. And since I’d never met a man who really didn’t want kids, I accepted my fate: Kajuana—Wife, Breeder, and Soccer Mom Extraordinaire!

Then today came and it dawned on me that having kids wouldn’t be that bad. In fact, it might even be a lot of fun. And hellous nous, I’m not preggers. So don’t go knitting no damn booties. And I reserve the right to change my mind if/when the wind blows in the other direction.