How important is it that your family and friends like your mate?? Is it just enough for them to be civil or do you want them to ginuinely like the mate??
For me, my family lives far so it really doesn’t matter if they sincerely like my signif. Yippie. Back in the day, my mom had access to The Devil. She liked him–just not for me. Most of the parents I’ve met have liked me. Side note: I have met a lot of parents. I’ve been to more family reunions for men I wasn’t even seriously dating, than I’ve been to my own. For whatever reason, folks, and Chandra can testify to this, will invite me to family functions on the first date. End side note. Or at least relatives did a helluva good job pretending. But I wonder would it be enough for them to be cordial but standoffish? Would that affect my relationship with their son/brother/grandson/nephew? What if they lived far away and I only had to deal with them on special occasions. Or what if they pretended to like my nubile ass but only because they were eye-ing my ovaries and my ‘child bearing hips’? Cus y’all know, there comes a point where a single, straight man’s family could care less about who the woman he ends up with is–so long as she’s willing to breed some babies and keep the family name going. And I wonder, for me, is that good enough?
What about the friends? Recently, I had one of my frociates hit me three times for Manfriend’s information. It dawned on me that my frociate might sincerely like Manfriend as opposed to just being cordial because I bring Manfriend around. Frociate knows from previous experience that if Manfriend and I part ways, their relationship will have to be, at the very least, adjusted to not include Manfriend attending any of our group activities. I keep custody of my friends. Y’all know what? My social circle is a lot of fun. Sometimes I think cats like our group activites more than they like me. When that’s the case, it’s curtains. But that’s another entry.
It’s probably a lot easier for men to get along with a woman’s friends than vice versa. I don’t know what it is but way too often, I feel like my frociates’ women are trying to prove themselves to me. Trying to cozy up. I guess they think if I like them, I will help them keep the man in line. WTF-ever. If he doesn’t want to act right, he won’t. I might not let him bring his other women to my home (see X’s post–too lazy to link to it), but I won’t be going out of my way to make sure they wind up with matching burial plots!
How much does your family and friends liking your signif mean?? I’ve got a frociate whose girlfriend, live-in (But he doesn’t really know we all know they live together and knew from the moment it started.) hates us ans we all hate her too. And on the rare occasions that someone allows her to come around, she’s constantly punking him. Eh, made me lose a lot of respect for that man.
I’ve also watched men marry women their mothers/sisters/female cousins hated. I guess they saw something in the woman the men were too caught up to see. Or then again, they just didn’t want to let him go. My mother’s good at this. I recall once my step-brother brought a girl around. My mother looked at her and later told my step-brother that the girl was a hoe. I don’t know what my momma saw, but she ended up being righter than right. I’ve dated men my frocates hated. But never anyone my female friends hated. Maybe, the men saw something in him that the women didn’t. I guess they were blinded by his fineness.
To think about it, I’ve been rather indifferent about any signif’s family. I’ve never tried to get them to like me. Never cared. I always was more concerned that they were cordial and kept it moving. Nor have I given a dusty f*ck about their friends. Again, cordial, but keeping it moving. Because at the end of the day, those are his friends and his family.
I’m understand that if the people closest to your mate don’t like me, they might try to sabotage the relationship. Oh well. If he really wants to be with me, he won’t let them. Take for instance my uncle’s common law wife. We do not like her. Haven’t liked her since we first laid eyes on her. Actually, even before then. But he wants to be with her. And all we can do is not welcome her into our homes and rest knowing that he’s still legally married to someone else. Things would be a lot easier for him if he was with someone the family liked, but oh well. We accept him but not her. Side note: And really. If she’s been with him 15 years or so and is too dumb to make him divorce his first wife, she’s too stupid to have access to our gene pool anyway. End Side Note
And even after writing all of this, in an attempt to figure out just how important that stuff if to me, I still don’t know. Is there anything I’m not considering?
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