Fear, and Sacrifice

I read Edwige’s brief post about her wanting a dog but not being able to get one because of her work schedule. And it gave me the inspiration for the following post. Everyone turn to Edwige and thank her. OK.

I look at people, specifically women, who lament on wanting to be in a relationship, get married, staff up the homestead, get additional degrees, etc. They say these things are most important to them. They talk a pretty good game. But if you look at their lives, nothing they are doing reflects their wants for the things they claim are most important.

On the surface, it looks like they’re lying to themselves. Maybe they really don’t want those things. Maybe they are just saying they do because it sounds good. I know I’ve said a lot of that sounds-good stuff in my time. Or maybe, and I tend to believe this more, they are scared to pursue those things. Think about it. Most people are likely to strive for the things that they think they can attain. Wants aside. “I want more education. But I barely made it out of undergrad so graduate school may be impossible. And what if I don’t get in? What if I fail? Naw, I think I’ll stick to what I know. Now let me go to bed so I can get to the office before the sun rises.” We get into patterns. “I’m successful at work. Let me throw some more engergy into that.” Why? “Because I am more likely to get the rewards.” Same thing with relationships. “I’m not mainstream pretty so no man’s gonna want me. Let me throw myself into something where I’ve been successful.” (Note my general disdain for this type of woman in the work place.)

And you know what I say? Screw fear. What has fear done for you (LATE-ly)?? I’ll tell you what it’s done! It’s stopped you from being all the YOU you are meant to be!! I sit and look at some of the choices I made. Some of the choices that made my success incertain areas take a bit longer. Why’d it take longer? Because I made choices based on FEAR. Nothing more, nothing less. Is it just me or does everyone else hear the National Anthem–Black or American–playing in the background?

I hate to be the one to tell y’all this, but how you choose to spend your time today, the goals you pursue, definately affect other areas in your life, for the rest of your life. I look at my friends who want relationships. Are they doing anything to get in one?? Nerp! They work all the dayum time, don’t go anywhere to meet new people, then they sit back and complain, and try to rest easy on the idea that it can’t be done. All done while ignoring the part they play in reaching their goals and building the life they want. Let me right her mention the importance of meeting new people Why do people who want t ‘meet someone’ insist on sticking to doing the same things they’ve been doing without any success? Fear!! Fear of the unknown! Gawd, I hate fear.

As as aside…Did I mention that one of my bestest friend just got engaged? Did I also mention that her and my other bestest friend from high school have Ph.D.’s?? The engaged one in neuropsych, the married one in chemical engineering?? Bad b*tches indeed. And I’m so like the proud Mama Duck!

But anyway, if you’re reading this and there’s something you want to do, do it! Don’t over-think it. Just get it done. If you fail, so what! You’ll be better for trying. And, you never know, you might just succeed!