My Heart Tells Me So

During last week’s discussions, several people commented that they just “knew” certain things. Hell, even I said I just know my frociate is gay. Then there were the doubters. The feeling I have when I just know, it’s the same feeling that some call intuition. It’s the same feeling that has been unexplainably correct more times than I’d like to count. But because it can’t be described as more than a feeling, I had taught myself to dismiss it.

It’s this feeling that has stopped me from going places and doing things others thought were too good to be true. They said, “Go for it.” while I wrinkled my brow and went with my feeling. I’ve never known the men folk to have these feelings. In fact, I’ve known them to be the biggest doubters of these feelings. This women’s intuition.

We could ask, “If women have all this fancy intuition, why do they make so many mistakes?” A simple answer to a simple answer. Actually, two answers. We’re taught not to listen and we’re humans; therefore, imperfect.

Intuition is probably the root cause of people not being able to keep a secret. Others feel the truth. A couple weeks ago my girl and her husband came to visit. I looked at her and thought, “Bout time she got pregnant!” A few days later, she called to tell me she was. I didn’t even mention that I knew. I let her have her moment. I felt it when I looked at her. And no she’s not in the least bit showing. But preggers nonetheless. OK, that wasn’t a good example.

I don’t know if O remembers this, but a few years back, there was this dude who was hot on my trail. You know, tryna insta-girlfriend me. Both O and my girl D thought nothing of it even though we all had jokes. But for me, there was just something not right. Something a bit off-center. I had no signs. None at all. But it was that feeling of uneasiness that made me not get mixed up with him. And sure enough, Satan has created few creatures as evil to the core as that dude. Not such a good example either.

The thing is, I don’t even know if I can put into words what the feeling is. Nor can I recall any good examples. Ladies, do you know what I mean?? It’s the feeling that let’s you know your man is cheating. He hasn’t done anything but you just feel like he is. Something tells you to open the drawer beside the bed. Or the things that you feel when you have the first date with the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with. You look at him on that first date and think, “OK, this is it. God, this is him.” And no, I don’t mean love at first site. It’s the thing that my co-worker felt as her father walked her down the aisle. She paused and thought, “We’re getting a divorce.” She felt it on her honeymoon. She ignored it and tried to make-it-work for three years. But all the while she knew.

I think we do more harm to ourselves when we ignore these things. When we try to out think our feelings, we end up screwed.