The Last Name Game

Lemme tell y’all how deep my dedication is. I’m sitting in my car, at an undisclosed locations, getting my innanets on!!! Not only am I posted in the Malibenz working, but I decided to blog too. I could have left y’all hanging and done nothing today. Better late than never right? Oh and congrats to O for passing the bar.

Some of you know my last name. You also know I’m something of a traditional woman. I’ve never even considered keeping my maiden name when I get married. Wait, lemme back up. I am one of the few folks still holding this last name. When my parents divorced, my mom went back to her maiden name. Did y’all know that at about age 27, my father changed his first and last name. His last name is now my grandmother’s maiden name. Yeah, it’s a long story. Then he got married and had two kids who also have my grandmother’s maiden name as their last. Right around the same time, my mother changed her maiden name to her new married name and had my brother. Did I mention that my paternal grandparents were divorced too. So my grandmother doesn’t share my last name either. And my grandfather died when I was little.

I am one of the few Kajuana’s last name here-s left. That being the case, I’m not really attached to this name. Some argue this is more of a reason I should keep the name. But it’s not like I’ll be giving my sons this last name so it ends with me. Save approximately 100 other people who share my last name. But don’t get it twisted. I’m not dropping this last name only because I tend to be traditional. I’m dropping it because it sucks hot monkey ass!!!

When I get married, there will be no discussion. Matter of fact, I’m willing to start the paperwork to change it the minute I get engaged. See? I’m not at all attached. I’ve had a lot of friends get married and treat the last name a few different ways. Some have moved their maiden name to their middle name. Some have hyphenated. Some have not changed their names at all. And some have dropped their maiden name all together.

It’s not a law that a woman’s last name be changed. And as best I can tell, it’s just the way things have been done. But what tripped me out is when this was recently discussed, the women said, “I was born a last name here and I will always be a last name here. Besides, what if this doesn’t work out? I don’t want to have to change back.” WOW. In her defense, she was married once before for less than a year so she’s a little sensitive. A man was around for this exchange. He was undone. Funny how, if no men are included in the conversation, women can have this discussion without any angst. But let a man get involved. He takes a woman weighing her name changing options like an assault on his and mens’ manhood everywhere. Give me a freaking break.

Some women keep their names because of their careers. One of my girls got her Ph.D. after she got married. So it’s in her married name. Another friend already has her Ph.D. but is engaged. So wouldn’t it make sense that she keep her maiden name, at least in her professional identity?? I mean, she’s published in that name!!

Back to my point. Wait, what was it? Oh, what’s the big deal? Why do men get so undone?? Am I missing something?? Do they feel if a woman doesn’t take their name, she’s somehow rejecting him? Again, give me a break. If this woman has published works, or a serious career, what’s the big deal if she doesn’t drop her maiden name or in some way still keeps it. Now, for real fellas, what’s the big deal? Your kids will still get your last name.