Rules Of Engagement

I had a post about welfare that was semi-written. But I decided to write something new to get something off of my chest. I know this might offend. And really, I’ve already said it to the person who inspired it but I feel like others might need some reminding. You know how you must interact with your friends spouse, significant other, date?? There are certain rules that must be followed. Or else, someone may end up getting cut.

These are things I know not to do. Don’t even cross my mind to do. I’ve had a few instances where my guy’s friends have gotten out of line. And I’ve seen where others have done things that could be considered ‘out the box’. And for this post, I’m talking about friends of the same sex and their spouses, significant others, dates of the opposite sex.

What is ‘out the box’? What are these rules?? To me, they are understood. But let me give you some examples. Recently, a female wanted the phone number for one of Manfriend’s friends. She and this guy had known each other for a while. She wanted me to ask Manfriend for the number. Hellous nous. What the hell do I look like asking Manfriend for his friend’s number?? But I don’t think the asker understood where I was coming from. I refused to ask because, well just because. The shyt felt wrong. And I can’t put into words why it felt wrong, but it did. And, I know there is no way on this floating rock we call Earth that Manfriend would evuh ask me for one of my girl’s numbers. And if he did, he’d be met with a wrinkled brow, an eye-roll, and a sweet, “What the f*ck for.” My mother agrees with me on this.

You do not greet your friend’s spouse, significant other, or date, lips first!! I was seeing this guy and one day, I saw a good friend of his on Howard’s ‘yard’. Good Friend was drunk. He leaned in to hug me, which is what the Bruhs do. But this time, he leaned in extra far, lips first and I turned my head just in time to avoid his lips touching mine. I chalked it up to ‘my guy’ downplaying our interaction so low that the Bruh thought he could do whatever. Later, I would find out this was indeed the case since I was one of several ‘girlfriends’

Another thing you never want to do, and lean in closely for this one, is ask your friend’s spouse, significant other, or date for money!!! I don’t care that you’re standing right at the entrance of the club. NO. And my mother, when I told her the story said, “Oh that’s some shyt right there. Good thing y’all are calm girls cus that would start some real shyt with most women. How did she not know not to do that? Does she have a boyfriend?” My momma, she keeps it real. And truth be told, I cleaned up what she actually said.

You do not ask your friend’s spouse, significant other, or date for their business card or call their house and try to bypass your friend to speak to their ‘person’. Naw. You just don’t do it. It’s a quick ticket to misunderstandings. And it’s rude.

Thou shall not profess love/like/lust for your friend’s spouse, significant other, or date. A few years back, I was driving a car being the designated driver for my guy and his friend. As we’re driving, from the back seat friend is telling me how, when they met me, he was in love with me. Hold up. I am with your boy. How the hell are you going to say some shyt like that to me in front of my man/your boy?? Based on that and other interactiong with the backseat friend, I figured he just had no respect for frontseat guy. Oh and backseat guy was/is/and shall always be an asshole.

I’ve been trying to figure out how these ‘rules’ go without saying for some but are non-existent to others. I come up with two things. Either people just don’t care and are disrespectful to their friends or they just don’t know any better because they’re not married, not in a relationship, or don’t seriously date much. Otherwise, they’d have to know what not to do. Right? Stepping outside of these rules (This is only a sample. If you can think of more, please leave them in the comments section.) makes people uncomfortable. It makes your friend’s spouse, significant other, or date uncomfortable. And it often pisses off your friend. If you care. So please, for the sake of friendships and not getting knocked the fugg out or cut, check yourself before you wreck yourself!