Read The Comments

Let me first say how absolutely pissed I am because I’d written an entire post and forgot to hit save. I lost it but I will try to recreate it. Go read the comments. No really, go read them. Didn’t know this would be such a hot topic for some. There were two comments that stuck out and I’d like to highlight them for further discussion.

C2A wrote:

Any woman (past 28) who thinks there is value in getting ranked higher because of her lack of children is delusional. She is bordering on barren, while thinking she is special. She is special but only because we all are.

When I first read this, I was like, “Dang. C2A goes hard!!! She holds no punches but why’s she tryna down us barren women??” Like Beloved said, I thought I was doing something by not breeding babies I didn’t want and couldn’t afford. Then when I read it a second time, I took note that what she says goes directly against what the men are saying. They’re saying they choose not to deal with women with kids. So they are putting us barren broads above women with kids. And for real, I sincerely think I’m great. Not just because I’m barren, though I consider myself nubile, but because overall, I’m a good person. That is, except when I’m campaigning for Asshole of the Quarter, an award held in high esteem in my social circle. Plus, when I meet men and tell them I have no kids, their eye light with glee. But then they also light up when I say I have no tattos.

Bemused wrote:

Having been on both sides of the equation (i have kids/i dated women with kids) i found your commenters’ words to be pretty arrogant and weirdly funny. i agree with some points - drama needs to be stomped out at the source - but you can’t control everything other people do. truth is, i started LOOKING for women with kids during my latter dating days because nobody is more irritating than a woman without kids trying to tell you how to raise yours. i have been blessed to date single mothers who were straight up magnificent people. They were (understandably) very cautious about allowing the men they dated to meet their children, so i felt blessed to spend time with their usually beautiful and highly intelligent children. of course, my wife tells me i’m weird - that i don’t think like most men. but i’ve always felt that not dating women with kids causes you to miss out on some good women who may have made a relationship mistake in the past. and which one of us can claim that they’ve never done that?

Arrogant?? Funny? They stated their opinions. But those opinions don’t mirror yours so they are funny?? Remember two monologues do not equal dialog. I tend to appreciate everyone’s honesty, even if it’s not in line with mine.

Could it be that Bemused dated some very controlling women who happened to not have kids?? Who knows. He’s a first time commenter so I won’t be too hard on them. I don’t think anyone said anything bad about single moms. I agree that men miss out by passing some of them up. But where I get a little antsy is in the fact that I don’t date men with kids. But at the same time, I say when men ignore women with kids they miss out. But I don’t feel I miss out when I choose not to date men with kids. Then again, for the most part, men with kids don’t even approach me.

As for drama, I sincerely believe, and it took me 29 years to learn this, if you shank a person in the ribs the firts time they raise their hand to do harm to you, they won’t do it again. You set the precident that you will not go for any baby momma/daddy drama. You don’t wait until you’re in another relationship and they are interferring. You must put a person in his/her place at the first sign of craziness.

Oh and I most certainly appreciate the comment Diggs wrote about not letting every dude meet her son!! Love it. It pisses me square off when I hear about harm coming to a child because the parent gave their significant other access with the child without checking to see if s/he was a child beater or molester!

I appologize for the typos and the such. I’m in a meeting, trying to blog, pay attention, etc!