We All SEEM…

K: Your wife seems nice.

C: Yeah seems being the operative word.

K: What? You’re saying she isn’t nice?

C: If you saw the bite marks in my ass…

K: Well you wouldn’t have marreid her if she wasn’t nice.

C: The reason I married her is a whole nother story.

K: O-kay…

C: Just know, she seems nice to you. But the way she chews my ass out, I wouldn’t use the word NICE.

I should add that for this entire exchange, most of C’s words were slurred. I hadn’t seen him in a month of Sundays. Haven’t seen him since before he got married and had the most handsome child in the history of babies! Really ya’ll, his son made me want to put my ovaries and perfectly good uterus to use to see if I could make me a mini-me just as cute.

But our convo, the things he said about his wife, who I maintained seemed very nice, made me think about first impressions. When I meet people, within a few seconds I put them in a box. I have a range of boxes and sometimes people don’t fit neatly into one box. But anyway, when I met his wife, she seemed nice and no matter what he says, I will continue to think of her that way–I mean unless she does something shadey.

I’ve been told, on more than a few occasions, that I don’t come off as nice. But to me, I’m one of the nicest people I know (and I know a lot of people). What I am not though, is friendly. While I am often approached for directions and the such, in definate social settings I’m not the one who will engage in random conversation because it’s the right thing to do. In my mind, forcing conversation is work. I pretend to give a damn all day during the work week. I’m not trying to pretend during my free-time. Ya heard me!

Normally, when you go to something with a Manfriend and his friends, the women chat, not because they like each other but because they know nobody else there. This wasn’t the case. My girl came by cus she was visiting from Chicago for a wedding that ended early. Plus, I knew the four groomsmen and one of their female friends who claims we had a memorable conversation at a house-party back in 97. Uh, not-so-memorable because I damn sure didn’t recall. But she was cool. My linesister also came since she was in the wedding and knows the guys too. H (read the old blog) tried to get an invite but I’m not one for inviting a bunch of people to someone else’s house. So really, I had enough people I knew there that I wasn’t being totally un-friendly but I was focusing on the people I knew. Yeah, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. So next time I’m around these same people, I’m probably going to have to make an effort to seem friendly. Ugh! Mental note: Figure out why I hate chatting with strangers so much.

Based on my behavior in the past, some of these cats know me to be a party animal. I used to be something!!! Good times! Most of the people there were older than me by 5 years or more. After the fight, someone got the bright idea that we should all go out. And we did. To some wack lounge. Then we went to a club. It’s about 1:30 when we get to the club and y’all know I like to be home, in bed, by midnight! These people, all at least 5 years older than me (can’t stress this enough), are parting like it’s a holiday. I’m talking dancing and drinking like they’re 18 and it’s their first weekend at college!!! Me? I’m sitting on the couch giving an evil eye to my ride (linesister) and Drunky McThirsty (Manfriend).

Y’all the lights came on. The DJ announced the last song. And these fools were still drinking and dancing!!!! Da hell? I’ve been to this club a gazzillion times. Never seen the lights come on!!! After we finally get out of the club, are people tryna go home?? NO!!!! We all end up back at the house eatting. It’s 4 in the morning. We are eatting like it’s mid-afternoon.

Did I mention these people were all at least 5 years older than me?? If y’all met them, you’d think they’d be content playing their golf and smoking their cigars! They should be done making the transition from all-night-long-partying to something else, anything else!! They look all calm, but just below the surface are party animals waiting to drop it like it’s hot!!! Me?? I’m a party animal on the surface waiting to…take a nap!