Last week an uncle died. You should understand that I have a step-family. So really he’s a step uncle. You should also understand that he was estranged. So when he died, someone at the morgue knew him and called a relative. He had nothing on him to link him to his family. As best we can tell, he’s not married anymore. So the family didn’t know what his wishes were and there was nobody to ask. Nor could they determine if he had any arrangements made or money to pay for his own funeral.
His youngest sister was called. She’s never had to plan a funeral so she didn’t know what to do. Further, she claims she didn’t have enough money to pay for the funeral. In the end, someone not even related is paying for it. How??
Once upon a time, a very lovely woman named Ada married a very mean man named Elwood, Sr. They had two kids, Elwood, Jr. and Gloria. Ada and Elwood ended up divorcing. Ada kept the two kids.
Around the same time, there was a fine woman named Shirley. She met and married a fine man named Rudolph, Sr. They had three kids. Rudolph, Jr. Robert, and Anthony (my step-father). Their marriage didn’t work out and they divorced. Rudolph, Sr. got custody of the three boys.
Can I tell you that all of these people were FINE in their day. I wish I could scan some pictures for y’all.
One day, Rudolph, Sr. and Ada met. They married. Their kids became brothers and sister. None of that step stuff. They’d go on to have one daughter, Yvonne. Because she was so much younger than her siblings (approximately 17 years) she thought she was an only child until she was about 8.
Right around the same time Ada and Rudolph, Jr. met and married, Shirley, Rudolph, Jr.’s ex wife, met Carl G. Sr. They would have three kids: Michelle, Carl, Jr., and Yancy. Yes, Shirley did give birth to two boys whose names are both Carl. Get over it.
Confused? I figured as much so here’s a diagram.
They grew up accepting each other as family. There was none of that baby-momma drama. Amazing I tell you. Except that when I think back, my step-brother’s mother and my mother never had issues either. It just wasn’t tolerated. (And, they still call each other to this day and my mom and step-father aren’t even together.) The interesting thing is that if you met any of the kids from these unions on the street, they will introduce each other as brothers and sisters. Even in two households, they still spent time together. Played together. If the boys went to visit their mother, their step-siblings went along. It was not a big deal. Yvonne even says that she remembers being a little girl and Michelle babysitting her.
And this is why Yancy, who is technically of no relations, offered to pay for Elwood, Jr.’s funeral before most people even knew he was dead. Do you really think that 20 years down the line, any of these kids being born today would have positive feelings toward their dad’s other kids?? Their dad’s step-kids? Sadly, nope.
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