Perfect Match

This post inspired by this post written by my soror, Beloved.

It’s no secret, which sorority I belong to. Gosh, doesn’t that sound cultish? Belong to? Most of the people reading this know that certain sororities match certain fraternities. Yes, I’m dumbing this down. Anyhow, I would guess my ideal is supposed to be a certian gold boot wearing, barking man. Ha! The one I’m supposed to be drawn to…A perfect match for. Thanks Edna, Frank!

Side Note: As I’m writing this, in my mind I head that song from School Daze, Perfect Match.

And I know, based on so many of my friends/frociates who are members of the pan-hell organizations (Save the Iotas cus I have yet to befriend one of them. Honestly, and don’t tell them I said this, I think they are an urban legend. Afigment of some drunken UPS workers imagination. K-U-N-Spiracy indeed. Remind me to detail that one later.), that some of us have this idea that our mate must be a member of a certain fraternity or sorority. For some, it’s an obsession.

Funny Story: I know a guy who dated this girl. Thought she was the prettiest, smartest thing this side of Heaven. She’d been making mention of her linesisters here and again. But the man assumed she was either a Delta or AKA. When she said she was actually a Zeta, she immediately became flawed. He said she was still smart and pretty, but her being a Zeta caused him to be preoccupied with finding out what was wrong with her. Afterall, in his Kappa mind, something had to be wrong with her if she wass a Zeta. That was their last date.

I can look at my line along with some of my closest friends who are also sorors, and say we are not all the same. So if a man is looking for a Delta, that wouldn’t be enough to put on his list. We’re all so, so, different even in our similarities, that he’d better be very specific about the Delta he wants. Sure we’re all great. I won’t argue with you on that point. I’m oh so humble. But do we all fit into the same box? Do we all fit the stereotypes?Where’s Will to say it? Hellous Nous! I think this holds true for the other sororities and fraternities. With the exception of Kappas cus we all know how superficial they are. Speaking of them, I am a Kappa magnet. Man!! To protect the not-so-innocent, I won’t tell any specific stories here. But just trust me. Look up ‘Kappa and/or Beige Man Magnet’ and there’s a picture of me!

Thing is, membership in these organizations is a main non-negotiable on some folks’ ‘Perfect Match’ list. They won’t even look at someone who doesn’t know secrets. Someone who can’t wear ‘letters’! Just like some people won’t even deal with someone without at least one degree, this whole sorority/fraternity thing is just that important to some people.

I bet some non-members are asking, “Wow. Is it that deep?” Humh? Lemme think. I do appreciate men who have pledged. And I can’t put the exact thing they have into words. But ladies (Especially ones who crossed burning sands), you know what I’m talking about right?? I’ve done extensive research on this topic. I admit, I’ve dated a full set: Alpha, Que, Kappa, Sigma (Not the Iotas. See note above.). They all had this one thing. Although I can’t say that I’m drawn to just that thing or any particular group for that matter. Truth is, I like men. As an aside, nothing freaks me out more than a man whose hands are softer than mine.

Getting back to who I’m supposed to be drawn to…If the only thing we have in common is our alledged match, that’s just not enough for me. Sure it’s nice for someone to say, “Kajuana, can I be Frank with you…” and I come back with, “So long as I can be Edna with you.” But that’s not enough to base a relationship on. Or is it?

Know what? I’m almost programmed to respond to “Can I be frank with you?” It’s the same respons, “So long as I can be Edna with you.” Not matter who I’m talking to. And I secretly get a kick out of saying it to someone who doesn’t have a clue. Their eyes glaze over as they replay the conversation in a desperate attempt to figure out what the heck I’m talking about.

Now I’m rambling. Point is, in addition to education, personality, ambition, and looks, a lot of educated Blacks expect their mate to be thier Perfect Match or at least in the area–as a member of one of the ‘right’ organization. And, I purposely didn’t even get into all the other organization that come into play as we move further from college.