Yesterday man!!! I was actually busy working. Meetings and doing stuff. Go figure. Plus, I was a little taken aback by the responses to my Tuesday and Wednesday posts. And then there was Edwige demanding something good Thursday. I had nothing to talk about. So I was thankful to have a legit excuse to not post. Luckily, as I was off to a meeting, Serenity23 gave me a topic. Like to hear it? Here it go! (This won’t be a controversial topic.)
It’s Friday. This weekend all around the country, in nearly every zipcode, someone will be going out on a date. And in some of those dates, the woman is single with at least one child. And some of those single moms have a problem. Now look, I know I’m borderline barren (C2A, 2005) and all, but some stuff is should be common sense. But it’s not. This is where The Kajuana Show comes in.
See, sometimes, y’all get a bit to rushy-rushy with getting into relationships. Meet. Fall in love. Cohabitate. Break up. Rinse and repeat. All in a span of one month. And really, this is fine by me. If that’s the merry-go-round you bought a ticket for, ride it out. Viva la doing-what-the-heck-you-want-so-long-as-it-doesn’t-hurt-anyone-else. But where it gets ugly is when you have children.
Ladies, lean in really close. You know how I love the kids!? Well yeah, I do. So long as they are well behaved, clean, etc. Listen to me when I tell ya!! Stop bringing men you barely know around your children. Stop moving men you barely know up into your home. Stop. I know you want to have a life. But for the love of the kids, have a life after they go to bed, outside of the home, or when you have a sitter!
I’ve done some research. I had hypothesized that a woman should know a man no less than 6 solid months before even considering introducing him to her children. But my research told me otherwise. Based on responders to the survey, a woman should actually wait 9-12 months. And, never, unless they are married, should she move a man up into her home around her children.
When single, borderline barren (Gotta love C2A for giving us this one.), women think about who we’re going to allow into our lives, we kinda have a luxary that single mothers do not have. Not to say that we should be careless about who we choose. Hell, I’ve seen women let men they barely know screw them unprotected but then turn around and say, “Shoot, I wouldn’t leave him in my house alone. He might rob me.” Da hell?! If you can let him into your body but not leave him in your home unattended, there’s clearly a glitch in you skut distribution matrix. I digress. Once you have kids and find yourself still dating, your standards should be 7 times as tuff for suitors. Because now, you’re not just considering yourself, but you’re considering your kids too. Even getting involved with a guy you know isn’t good for you while keeping him away from the kids still affects the kids. You’ll be sad and your kids will feel it.
I want to wag a finger. But I also want to understand. And moreover, I want you to understand. Understand your patterns and why you’re doing the things you’re doing. If you can’t see what it’s doing to yourself, ask what it’s doing to your children. I know mothers are reading this, thinking the revolving daddy door doesn’t affect their kids but you’re wrong. Why do you risk your kids’ safety and comfort for a man you barely know? What do you need and why are those needs being met by this random live-in-partner? And GAWD, I ask again, what does this revolving door do to your kids? Does it make your babies think mommy’s a whore or that her having a man is the most important thing in the world or that men in their lives shouldn’t be expected to be permenent?
Again, I’m not saying not to have a life. But I am saying that more is on the line than just you.
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