Springer-esque

Haven’t we all watched our share of Springer? Sat back and laughed or even felt sorry for the people who end up on his stage. How many possible baby-daddies can one woman have? How many Black-acting white women can profess their love and willingness to fight for toothless Tyron? How many best friends can sleep with the other’s spouse or significant other? But at the end of the hour–if we make it through the whole show–we turn the television off and rest easy knowing that our lives don’t at all mirror that of those on television.

We come back to our lives, our normal lives and we think the decisions we’re making are so much better. Well baby, I’m here to tell y’all that they aren’t. I’m here to tell y’all that a lof of us have skeletons in the closet. Hell, some of us have closet doors that are hanging by one henge because the closet is so chocked full with the unfortunate results of questionable decisions. Decisions no different that the average Springer guest.

One thing that always melts my ice is how the women act when they find out their man has been ’stepping out’ on them, (as the old folks say). What do the women do?? They lash out at each other. The logic?? I can’t quite find it. I’ve had women lash out at me over men and I never understood it. I didn’t promise them anything. I was probably just as much in the dark as she was. Who had us in the dark? The man! So my anger focused on him.

Women, what’s so wrong with us that we would choose to place our anger someplace it doesn’t belong?? Is it easier to blame the woman? Is it that we don’t want to rock the boat too much so that maybe at the end of it all the man will choose us?? Is it that we really convince ourselves that if this other woman wasn’t available, our man wouldn’t choose to seek anything outside of us?? This is what we watch on Springer. We say we aren’t like that. But I say we are. I say that we just know better than to not take it onto television and open out closet to the world. That’s the only difference.

I have this frociate. We’ve been cool for years. We’d shoot the shyt over the phone, he might stop by, or we might get a meal. Amazingly, through all the years, we’ve never really discussed relationships. Or at least not the ones were in or have been in. In some way, I just figured this was because he’s such a secret squirrel. Some looking from the outside said it was because he didn’t want to ruin the remote possibility that one day, he might be able to move beyond the frociate box. I never thought much of it.

I’m willing to believe, however, that this frociate kept his situations under wraps because his situations were ones that painted him to be a less than honorable man. In fact, if I were dating someone like him, he’d probably be first in line to kick the man’s ass. This frociate was treating women in the exact way he’d never want his sisters to be treated. Yet, he continued to do it. When I found out how much of a dirty-low-to-the-ground man he was, our frociation tappered off. It was easy for me to cut him off. I guess because our relationship was defined, by me, as frociates. Sure we still see each other but it’s not like before. I see him as either tarnished or undeveloped as a man. Don’t know which one. But I know I don’t want to be frociates with a man like that.

Fast forward to more recent months. He has gotten himself in what could very easily turn out to be a Springer-esque situation. Women’s eyes are rolling, feelings are hurt and guess what? It’s not being directed towards him. He is the problem. He’s the one insisting that these women keep thier ‘dating’ on the low. (Which goes back to my feeling that if you are on the low, there’s some shyt in the game!) He’s the one leading women to believe that he likes them for more than a suck and a f*ck. So why are these otherwise intelligent women pissy with each other??

Luckily, they’re holding thier pissivity in. Not letting it erupt into a fist fight. But you can still see it, just below the surface. You can see it in how they interact. Or maybe I can just see it since I sit so far out of the situation. Maybe I’m just too logical. But there’s no way that at this age, they should not be able to focus their anger and hurt onto the right person!! Him treating women shabbily has nothing to do with him being able to float in and out of various beds. It has everything to do with him being a jerk and with them allowing it by focusing on each other and not him. Further, I’m not completely sure that if the stage was set, the lighting just right, that these women wouldn’t end up in a rock-em-sock-em fight as he stands back admiring his handy-work. Yep, no different at all.