I like writing. I like discussions. I like for people to disagree with me because I like to logically present my views and listen as they logically present theirs. Then I like to figure out how their experiences are different from mine and how those differences helped shape our opinions. Good times!! Since I’ve started blogging, I’ve adjusted more opinions that I can count. I attribute that to debating, life experiences, and even blogging.
I’ve gone from believing people can only rise to a certain level, can only obtain those things within their league to believing people can do and have anything they wants. Everyone has a chance at everything. Mate, job, whatever. However, I’m back to where I started from. I have no problems with changing my opinions when evidence to the contrary is presented. I’m no George Dubya.
Where was I? Beloved’s demand *eyeroll* that I write something interesting has thrown me all off track. Did you guys know I have had a lot of jobs? Well yeah I have. And a couple of times, I ‘ve gotten jobs I probably wasn’t completley quailified to have. Thanks to pretty decent interviewing skills, their need to hire a darkie or whatever, I still got the jobs. When I started those jobs I was really suspicious of their motives for hiring me. Then again, thats just how I am. It’s not until I know why I was hired do I feel at ease. This doesn’t mean I slack off of anything, I just like to know where they are coming from. And more times than not, I find out their motives were sincere and I was the only person second guessing myself. Yep, believe it or not, I do that from time to time. Who would have thunk it? Especially since I do a great job of pretending I know exactly what I’m talking about. This leads me to believe one can achieve things that seem unreasonable.
And then there’s my interaction with people. Even as a small child I used to wonder why people did nice things for me. And if I had a dollar for everytime someone asked me how I got someone to do something for me, well those student loans would be completely paid off. I never really have an answer. Truth is, sometimes I ask, sometimes they volunteer. You’d be surprised how easy it is to come up if you just ask for stuff, nicely. Even in relationships. Granted, this goes against what those old broads say about manipulating men into doing what you want. Still, this is me believing you can have anything even if it seems out of your reach.
Then I look at actual relationships. Male-female relationships. Is there really anyone out of your league? Can you really have anyone? I went out with this dude briefly. He was well within my league. I saw some pictures of some women he’d dated before. Those broads were flawless. Like on some perfect type shyt. Faces, perfect. Bodies, banging. And I wondered, “Humh. Da hell does he want with me? Sure I’m easy on the eyes but he can and has done a whole lot better, at least physically.” Since he was a shallow man (what man isn’t) this was a reasonable concern. Before I got to the bottom of exactly why he was seeing me, we stopped dating. Not because he traded up, but because he was ultra “Kneeno Brown”.
What I wonder though, is if other people feel this way. I have friends who have dated guys that, on the surface, were WAY out of their league. Be it in looks, education, personality, etc. Having these guys was a huge ego boost for them. Unfortunately, in the end, these women were left in the dust. Either because the man traded up or because the man had no real intentions of being with a woman who he saw as not-good-enough from the start. Men generally want the best they can get. In anything. I hate to admit it, but I see exactly where the guys are coming from because I always want the best I can get–except when I have to pay for it because I’m frugal. I’m not exactly comfortable feeling this way. But based on what I have seen, it’s the way it is and shall henceforth be.
However, women will deal with men who are on a level way lower than theirs. Women will unapologetically deal with a cat who lives with his mom, is jobless, has bad credit, and 7 kids by 9 different women. She’ll never stop to consider that this cat is beneath her! Yeah, I said it, beneath!!! As in not in the same league. Not even near! She will hope for the best. Why the hell would a woman who has everything on the ball deal with a man who doesn’t have anything going for him and no for improvement in sight? Desperation? Loneliness? Believing she can change/help him?? Tuff change. Because when he does get on his feet, he will likely see himself as worthy of a better woman (by his definition).
It all stems from expectations and a realistic view of who you are, what you have to offer, and what’s really attainable and maintainable. Sometimes our self-assessment is way too high, sometimes it’s way too low. Having been on both sides, now I think I have a realistic view of who I am and what I’m capable of.
Agree? Disagree? Are some of our expectations too unrealistic? So much so that they set us up for disappointment? And, do y’all think I really-really believe everything I wrote?? I mean cus I say a lot of shyt on here.
You might want to ease over to Serenity23’s page cus she happened to write about the same thing!!! Go figure!
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